If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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