woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
