Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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