You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
