He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
