Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she smelled like a LAN party
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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