He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
