just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
