Christians are straight up FREAKS
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
