i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
