Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
