What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
