I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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