i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
