did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
