I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
