Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
should my penis look like a turkey
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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