If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
