i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
