you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The air was thick with penises
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
