ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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