Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
