turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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