don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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