I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
