Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
