Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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