ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
