halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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