my sisters under your porch take her home
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
