Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
