Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
