I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize