I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
