aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
