Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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