Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
