His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
