He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
