what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
zippers are such a cool invention
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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