Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
