It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize