i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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