Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
