it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
