Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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