is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize