belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
