Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
