Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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