if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
