Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
