he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize