the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
