i just wanna soil my oats bro
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
