Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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