so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Two words: blizzard sex
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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