I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
