Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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