Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
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