He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
