I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You dont lie about slip and slides
I don't deserve a penis
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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