i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
