If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
