Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
