I think i peed on brittanys purse
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize