I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
