Is it because I queefed?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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