dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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