the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
